“Under every full moon, a woolgathering world idles.”
About time I wrote something other than a poem. So here goes:
I just discovered I suffer from quarter-life crisis.
You may think I am exaggerating and that I am only 18 and I should stop thinking so much. Blah! Blah! Blah!
And in any other case of me complaining about life, I would have agreed with you too; but (yes, the stubborn ‘but’) this time in my justification of this statement I’ll add that my mental age is and has always been five years more than my chronological age.
So yes, I am 18 and I am 23.
I am a 23 year old who knows less than what she should know at her age but more than required for a girl at 18. Err… you get that?
We have multiple people living inside of us. I don’t know about you, but there are five people in me, (according to my latest count). So readers, meet−
- The mute observer: This is the first-person observer. She is breezing through life, feeling emotions, daydreaming, watching the world through me.
- The dual opinion-holders: The name is self-explanatory. They are two people in the package of one and they keep dueling over many issues till one is finally combated. 😉
- The sarcastic bystander: This one gives me narrator-like, third-person observations on my life with me in the picture. She keeps me entertained and she’s growing over me dominantly!
- The dealer: When it gets down to doing something, this one has to do it. She has to deal with all the above four people, make some sense of it and act on it.
Yeah, they all are me. So my present problem is that the mute observer is tired of routine images, voices etc. and the dual opinion-holders can’t focus enough so that the currently unmotivated dealer can just get the task done for good while the bystander is sighing and laughing at the chaos periodically. Now you see exactly why I am as mad as I am!
P.S: Please don’t ask me how the 18 year old and 23 year old me fit in this grand theory of mine. Remember the blog title had warned you already. It is “incoherent”
We cope with our life in our daydreams.
This theory is not originally mine and I am not talking about a loafer’s daydreams. The last book I read, Solo by Rana Dasgupta spoke beautifully on the subject and recently I read Owl City singer Adam Young’s latest post (Title: Cue the sun) on his blog which triggered the theory. Read it! It’s a brilliantly written, personal post. Young was not speaking exactly of daydreaming in that post. He wrote in the lines of sad memories, dealing with reality and an optimistic musical escape.
Daydreams are an escape from the realities of the present life/ memories of the past/ doubts of the future. It is a bridge between what ‘is’ and what ‘could be’ or ‘could have been’. It is the gift of the extremes. To lose yourself in daydreams excessively means you are either very happy or very sad. Memories are hard to ignore. If they keep you awake at night, reveries cajole your tired eyes into sleep. Reverie is like flooding of all your wishes while you drown in that euphoric state. You don’t question such daydreams. You flow with it in silence, listening to what you want or how times were/could be. You excuse yourself from all your judgments too; knowing that your daydreams may sound hilarious or horrible to even you too, if spoken out loud. But then, if you haven’t stared at the distance, be wide awake but so lost, it’ll only be a shame. It is like getting wet in the rain- feeling alive and one with nature. Daydreams are private, poetic pleasure!
“Reverie is not a mind vacuum. It is rather the gift of an hour which knows the plenitude of the soul”