Get some handcuffs

Cuff me with my dreams

They make me work too hard

And I want to leave

I can’t feel them driving me anymore

They jumped off without letting me know



Don’t look at me hopefully

I realized I will never change

And you never told me dreams were high-maintenance



Deep down, I just want to run away

Might as well leave right now with everyone to busy to come in my way

Wish y’all bloody well

To my misery, I bid you farewell!




Get me a blindfold

Blind me with faith

To carry on further,

I need to believe in love and fate

‘coz I don’t trust anything nowadays

I’ve labeled each inspiration as an “unreasonable craze”



Don’t cry over spilt milk

I realized I will never change

And you always promised there would be no more pain





I am tired of waiting

Of watching your tired smiles

Tired of monotony and the rules

I’m lost without a map in hand

I don’t think it’d be of much help anyway

I can see no other way

You will realize that there was nothing else I could do




Missing you…

I guess it had to happen.

But you didn’t see it coming

I was selfish and angry, I agree. I was wrong.

You thought it was a joke.

When it finally sunk in, it was too late for both of us.


I have to lose that temptation of calling you when alone

Or bored for that matter

What makes me happy is to think

That you have someone to fall back on

That only I asked for loneliness in the bargain.


One confession- I don’t think of you at all

It’s a new life without you.

But I’m still crossing my fingers hoping no girl has replaced me.

Not even her.

Because no guy took your place, and never will; I promise!


I miss you only when I am talking to you

Exchanging unnecessary pleasantries

And your uninformative updates.

I miss what I lost

You understand that?


I miss you when I hear you laugh.

It’s still the same- childish!

It rings in this warm nostalgia that stays with me

Even after the phone is down

And every time, I smile in reply to that feeling.


I miss you when I’m unaware of the little moments of your day

Now whenever I ask you- ‘How’s life?’

You are forced to keep quiet and turn the topic.

Ha, I know your life revolves around her now!

I am sorry for this- your silly guilt.


I hope you are not bitter ‘Cause I’m not!

I don’t want to come back

I feel no need to repair what isn’t broken.

I don’t regret what has happened.

And even you shouldn’t.


Remember I told you how I think goodbyes should be gradual.

I can feel the end coming now, creeping in slowly

There’s something we’ve taken from each other

Just keep that safely, alright?

Yeha, I miss you now.


Jokes Apart… nah, Jokes Only!!!


“Aaah… A man with sharp wit- someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself!”
— Peter Da Silva
Yeah, people who don’t know me think I’m funny! People who know me don’t get my jokes. I’ve thought about the reasons why; I write funny really well but I tend to deliver it badly. Maybe that’s because I’m so enthusiastic about my joke, I laugh at my own joke before completing it! However when I write something hilarious, I type freaking fast in my excitement; which is way better than blurting out something stupid! But mostly, the problem is that I start assuming that people are on the same page with me. So that is not MY problem!
Suggestion: Be more alert, people! And start watching Star World. 😉
 [Star World, American TV shows: My teacher!]
My desperation to improve my joke-delivery has not stopped. It will not stop until the people whose jokes I love, laugh hysterically and say, ‘That was AWESOME!’ and also till everyone agrees that I and my jokes are very intelligent and entertaining. For this reason, I have done a little research on the kinds of humor which exist today. Yeah, I know, you might think I’m so lame. But when I crack the most hilarious joke while you sulk in the corner thinking, ‘I’m nothing compared to her’ then I’ll laugh like a villain avenged! MUuuaaHAahahhaha!
So, let me begin with the categories/ types of humor. We’ll go alphabetically because I found it on the web-page in this order and it is a copy pasted version with my comments on it. [Of course!]

Adviser: The comic adviser gives uncalled for advice in a Punch prototype.
Ex:  Advice to people who want to buy a puppy:  Don’t.
[I give so much advice, consider anyone of it as a joke! 😉]

Anecdotes: Any interesting event, either having to do with a celebrity or something smaller that helps the humorist to make a point. Anecdotes are great for the speaker and writer.

Aside: A thought added as if something the speaker was saying reminded him of it.
[I use this many times in my write-ups. Please notice!]

Banter: Good-natured teasing back and forth; exchange of witty remarks.
[It always happens when friends chat.]

Blendword: Blending two or three words to make a new word.
Ex: smog for smoke and fog.
[I made the word ‘shucks!’ Figure out which two words I used.]

Blue Humor: Not appropriate for the public speaker. Humor based on easily offensive subjects like making love, body parts, and bodily functions.

Blunder: Wit based on a person who makes a mistake, which makes them appear foolish.
[Of course! It is I, me and only myself- The queen of blunders and public embarrassment!]

Bull:  A humorous statement that is based on an outrageous contradiction.
Ex: “The best people have never had kids.”

Burlesque: A form of satire. Burlesque ridicules any basic style of speech or writing. (Parody makes fun of specific writings.)

Caricature: Exaggeration of a person’s mental, physical, or personality traits, in wisecrack form.

The Catch Tale: A funny story that messes up the reader or listener by implying an awful ending but then stopping with a small declaration.

Conundrum: A word puzzle that can’t be solved because the answer is a pun.
Ex: why do cows wear bells? Their horns don’t work.
[This reminds me of so many SMS jokes that irritated me!]

Epigram: Clever, short saying about a general group. Mostly satire about mankind. Two types, wordplay and thought play.

Freudian Slip: A funny statement which seems to just pop out, but which actually comes from the person’s subconscious thoughts.
[This one is really interesting. Yet to notice examples of this in real life.]

Hyperbole: Extreme exaggeration. An exaggerated witticism that overstates the features, defects, or the strangeness of someone or something.

Irony: A leading part of humor.  Irony is using words to express something completely different from the literal meaning.  Usually, someone says the opposite of what they mean and the listener believes the opposite of what they said.
[It is difficult to define irony.]

Joke: Short story ending with a funny climactic twist.
[The worst definition of joke! But I can’t come up with any better.]

Nonsensism: Inclusive of the epigram and the wisecrack, it is any kind of funny nonsense in speaking form. Nonsensism includes all kinds of absurdity without realistic logic and makes a general observation of absurd reference.
[Aaah.. I know so many people who resort to this kind of humor.]

Parody: Humorous version of any well-known writing.
Ex: Weird Al Yankovic’s “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi”.
[Search Youtube for’ Parody’, you’ll get better examples.]

Practical Joke: A joke put into action. You hear an oral joke, see a printed joke, and feel the practical joke. The trick is played on another person and the humor comes from what happens.
[I’ve never played practical jokes. MTV BAKRA earns by playing tricks on people!]

Recovery: A combination of blunder and wit, where a person makes an error, and then saves himself with a fast correction.

Repartee: Includes clever replies and retorts. The most common form is the insult.
[My favorite! I love conversations with witty repartee.]

Satire: Wit that is critical humor. Satire is sarcasm that makes fun of something.

Situational Humor: This is comedy that comes from your own life. No one in your audience will have heard it and it can get a group used to you. This type of humor is based on a humorous situation that you have experienced.

Switching: A common form of switching is changing the main parts of the story, such as the setup or the punch line, and creating a new joke.

Understatement: Making something that is regular or large seem extremely smaller or less; intentionally down-sizing a large object.

Wisecrack: Any clever remark about a particular person or thing. Wisecracks are quick wordplays about a person.
[I will become a master in wisecracks soon, but not any sooner!]

Wit: Humor, irony, sarcasm, satire, repartee. Wit is funny because of the sudden sharpness and quick perception. Wit can bite. Verbal wit is a type of humor known as Wordplay.
I think, ‘black humor’ and ‘pun’ is not included in this list. They are my favorites.
The only type of jokes I hate are ‘toilet jokes’. I don’t find them funny at all. It is plain disgusting and I make sure the clown who cracked that stupid joke knows I am disgusted.
I should end here. I hope it was entertaining to read despite the fact that it was so long and informative. That is the type YOU hate!
Blah! Blah! Blah!
Signing off,
Tame She-Wolf
“That is the saving grace of humor- if you fail no one is laughing at you!”
— A. Whitney Brown
P.S:  ooOOOOo0o0o00o0o0000ooOOOoo0o0OOOOO!!!
 What??? You didn’t get that?? I was howling!!  Wolves? She-wolves? They howl!??
(sigh) NEVER MIND!!

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