Then, I wouldn’t be overwhelmed by people and need to have reclusive breaks. Or reach a saturation point where I scream, “ENOUGH”
And why do I do that? I don’t like to be rude to people and take a u-turn to being alone. But I keep finding myself in situations that I can’t bear one more quirk.
I think the root may be that I get shocked that someone else is not as accommodating or caught up about me as much as I am with them. I am all about on-going consent with every person all the time. After a point, I get tired because there is no release space for me. and I find myself in these situations over and over again.
My other analysis is that I am such a encouraging, people pleasing yes-man that I meet anxious abusive nutcases that really stretch my limits. If there is one thing I want to put a stop to is meet new people who are predisposed to anxious thinking. I would want my chill to meet other chill people, and not soothe non-chill people. Of course, everybody needs a break from anxious people. They fucking overwhelm everybody around them and never develop coping mechanism well-adjusted for social situations. I always thought anxiety in people is a phase but apparently it is a welded-in personality trait.
[This became quite an anti-anxious people rant. Hahaha..]
If only I learn to make boundaries. But if you asked me, what makes you tired? or what do you really not want to do? I still couldn’t point out. I don’t mind anything till I start minding it. There is a switch flip, and I am out. I wish I had a list of behaviours/needs that I should have a boundary for but I don’t.
I think I can tolerate any behaviour if I believe it is a temporary mood that is justifiable. But if temporary moods become climate patterns, then I realise that I am stupid and I have to get out of this terrain.
What can I do better? What are the smaller boundaries that I can have so I don’t have to run away?