Tiny tragedies that add to the despair

When I am depressed, the big things do not affect me whatsoever. I will plough through the day and do everything that is expected of me, without any grumpiness.

But what will break my back is if I spill water on my quilt and I have to clean that up.

Yes, that is my tiny tragedy.

It is weird what I will sulk over and that is when I am know I am depressed.

  • The internet is slow and the funny show online is buffering.
  • The lid of the bottle/jar doesn’t open.
  • I have to take a bath but can’t decide what to wear.
  • I can’t find words to drive my point.
  • I can see someone being nice to me but feel a dissociation to it.
  • I tore off a button or something.
  • I have made three typos in a row.
  • I dropped my spoon which adds to my chore. (basically my klutzy behaviour becomes overwhelming to bear)
  • I have a low score on Scrabble, or even Tetris (which I stopped playing bcz it was a foolproof test of how bad my concentration is on that particular day).
  • I write a terrible sentence, and I don’t even know how to make it better.

These things can bring me down for an hour or so. I don’t even think that is worth saying to someone, “Look, this made me sad today.” I mean, I couldn’t without making it a joke. And then I don’t like that I made a joke of it to seem “not weird.”

Actually, listing this made me laugh. So maybe, I am over November blues already.

Mostly inconsolable,
tame shewolf.

PS: I did spill water on my quilt, just when I was going to write a post on loss.

I cleaned it. I sulked. I taught a class like a nice person. Here I am, in no mood to write my intended topic. Laaife!

Tell me what you think:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s