There was a project on Instagram called #Identitty by artist Indu. She was drawing and collecting stories of women’s relationship with their breasts! The project was a success but she was overwhelmed by the submissions (which included mine), and stopped before she could draw them all.
I thought my story was kinda funny and I want people to see my nooodz. So I drew myself on the basic Google Keep app because je ne suis pas une artiste.
So here is my #Identitty story–
My relationship with my breasts started to calm down after I googled— “normal breasts look like”. As a teen, I was freaking out about my breasts, but I had a stiff upper lip through it all.
My nipples grew suddenly. Or maybe, it is just how puberty makes it seems. Initially, I thought that it was my fault that they grew so large because I was constantly itching the bumps around my nipple. Turns out, it is really common. Relieved, I promised myself that I will tell my teen daughter/nieces, completely unprompted, that their nipples might itch and it is okay to feel that puberty has especially chosen you to be mean to.
Another thing that I discovered which was “normal” was for your breasts to grow away from each other, leaving only a shadow of the could-have-been-cleavage *even with the bra on*.So it made them seem more like mountain peaks than sculpted domes.
My info on what breasts should look like came from porn, and I had only seen white women nude so I was not really sure how to feel about dark nipples. When I had finally googled my query, I was directed to a medical site with a gallery of just *real* different types of breasts. (I wish I could link you to the site, but it is lost in the internet debris now). There were round breasts, long breasts, breasts like mine but still not quite the same, uneven breasts, prominent nipple hair, small but protruding nipples… you get the gist. I felt better. Everything is scary. Everything is sexy.
But do you know what they don’t tell you about? The goddamn cleavage hair. There are no images (NONE AT ALL) to make me feel better about this one. Because maybe you would have to zoom in and nitpick like me. Most days, I know that it is natural and my gender-queer ass even likes and owns it! Some days, I feel conscious of the split-second gaze on my collar and I prefer removing them.
I am not a teen now. Thank you, time. I am chilled about my body too. Thank you, feminists (and also, to all the exes.)
Now, you might look at this amazing drawing by
@indu me(!) and think, “Damn you woman, those are statistically the most common type of breasts, get outta here..” I hear you but bear with me ‘cause I had to take this long and winding route to reach this calm.