Why I hate boys. (Part 1)

“I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years.”

~Mickey Rooney

If you have opened the link, I do not need to warn you that this is going to be me ranting my heart out in a polite cruelty capable of only me. I warn you: do not try to calm me down with thy comments! I will also bring to your notice that I do have sane moments when I explain to myself, “Every guy is not like that”.  But, every girl knows that it takes only a moment of silence, after a conversation with a typical guy, to trigger the episode of “AAAAaargh- I- HATE-BOYS!”

(Exhale!)

Let me start by saying that the fundamental reason I hate boys is because they are dumb. Simple as that. My tolerance for dumbness, though increased by magnitudes over the years, is only little. To explain my point, I will categorize a dumb guy, which is every boy in the world, into the following categories:

(Delighted, wicked smile)

1.     The Emotional

This guy always has more trouble than he can cope with.

Fantastic talker.

Plays the victim. Has no stability. Blames external factors only.

Fights with all gusto to prove a redundant point. Doesn’t fight when really required.

Dreams not in proportion to ability; or even vice versa, i.e., capable of so much more but indulges only in trivial superficial talks about death, existentialism, love and pain.

You’d think he’s such a bechara, but really he’s a manipulator.

Example- When you think: “Enough is enough; I’m going to give him my piece of mind today!”, something terrible has already happened in his life and all that build-up in your head is wasted. If nothing has happened, then his miserable puppy eyes say he didn’t mean anything he said/did and you think, “Exactly!”

Example- When you think of leaving, there is a galore of sick promises and lectures on misunderstood-him, purity of his feelings, selflessness etc. etc. And damn you girl, if you believed even one.

In extreme cases, he also injures himself to prove I-don’t-know-what.

He clings. Like a leech.

The problem with this guy is not that he’s emotional; it is that he rates emotions over a strong head. He indulges in emotional internal conflicts for no reason. A simple problem remains unsolved. He can never just man up even for himself and do what is the right thing to do.

If you know even one guy of this type, RUN AWAY! He will zap all your energies and it will not be worth it.

2.     The Numb

In the other extreme end of the emotion spectrum, we have The Numb. Does he feel anything??? That is, except his erection. (Hahahaha.. I can’t believe I’ve not edited this part out. I am so amused by my own joke.)

He is either happy or angry. Incapable of any other emotion.

If you are talking about your feelings to him, oh well… you might as well broadcast the whole situation on TV after adding funny mental monologues to his dumbfounded-ness. Sometimes he will insist you to explain how you feel, maybe only to pass the time. Humor him if you have the strength to withstand more disappointment or if it’s been a good, lucky day.

After something terrible happens, you might worry about how much he must be hurt. So you call him to cheer him up only to realize that he is TOTALLY fine. You may even be disappointed and wonder why you were torturing yourself over it?

There’s no problem with a numb guy unless he happens to be your boyfriend or even your best friend.

3.     The Liar

I hate liars. I just can’t stand them. Irrespective of age, sexual orientation and job designation, all boys lie! Lying is not a type. It is an infection they can’t rid themselves off. Symptoms are as follows:

He’ll lie about the big things, of course. But here’s the catch: he’ll lie about the little things too. If you are waiting for him and ask him where is he; he’ll claim he’s only ten minutes away when he really is going for a bath the next minute. OMFG, why does anyone have to lie for such things??
(Note to whoever does this: If I know the truth, I can prepare myself for waiting for half an hour. What are you scared of? That I’ll crib and nag and scream?? That you can’t save yourself from anyway. Why add to it your stupid lie!)

Such a type, as different versions of the same story told to different people to suit their taste.

He would make efforts to avoid you from socializing with his friends.

He will always be sweet to you on your face.

Phone is password protected. And he may not even be dating or have porn on his phone!

He claims he doesn’t lie. And really girls, believe him on this one: he doesn’t lie. He hides. He’ll give you parts of the truth/the headlines of the event. If you question, not out of suspicion but even out of curiosity, the story falls apart. Lying begins.

Problem with the liar type: Can’t trust him for even little things. It’s just sad.

4.     The Flirt

I am not including the perverse-type in this list who want to make/do/have friendship. If friendship is an “activity” for you, do not talk to me. Period.

I like witty flirting. It is healthy and so mentally-stimulating. But The Flirt makes you feel like crying.

He cannot talk straight. He cannot have a conversation without interrupting it with his “flirtatious comments.” After a point, you realize he’s over-doing it, being unrealistic, superfluous and then you just get bored because it’s untrue and unnecessary.

Though you might catch yourself laughing, it is actually your fake, tired laugh. Sadly, your tired laugh is only reinforcing more senseless flirting.

Problem with The Flirt: It doesn’t make you feel special. You know he keeps no standard/filter whatsoever.

Oh! This has turned out to be a long post and I’m not done yet. Stay tuned for more this week! 😀

Of course, this is only Part 1!

Signing off,

Tame SheWolf

WORDLY WISE:

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.

~Plato

 

P.S: (SheWolf moans)

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Why I hate boys. (Part 1)

  1. Tame SheWolf? More akin to a rabid version of the species! Then again, there’s nothing better than people with a bit of fire in their bellies. Enjoyable read, especially judging which qualities of said list that I’m afflicted with 😀 Be interesting to see how you’d rate the individual qualities from “most bearable” to “least bearable”.

    Like

  2. Ever thought of being with a ‘man’? Or is it more fun to be with boys and analyze them and complain about them? Don’t be offended. You have written this quite nicely. I’ve been researching about this for quite a while now and regardless of the gender, most people would rather have the challenge and complain about things instead of figuring out the easier way. It is very interesting.

    Like

    1. Of course, I would love to be with a ‘man’. Tell me where do I find them.. I keep telling my friends that my “type” is ‘the big old man’.. and it is true. 😛

      and I am not offended. Don’t be diplomatic. You don’t realize how much I love hate-comments. I approve all comments, irrespective of it being good or bad. I only clear out the spam.

      and I know, the description fits girls too. But girls don’t get into my head and inspire (read: force) a blog-post to vent. 😛

      Like

  3. Oh it’s hard to find old men anywhere. But you can start by beginning to proclaim that you’re a mature woman. I’ve heard it a hundred times, just like women always complain they want men and not boys, men always complain they want mature women and not girls. Although, some would prefer the latter :), let’s stick to what ‘men’ want. I think one attracts a prey or a mate by being what the appropriate prey or mate would want it to be. We have it wrong when we begin with defining who we want I think.

    Oh you think this was a hate comment! Haha. I wasn’t being diplomatic, just polite.

    Like

  4. I really loved this rant. These made me giggle:

    After something terrible happens, you might worry about how much he must be >hurt. So you call him to cheer him up only to realize that he is TOTALLY fine.

    TOTALLY unexpected. Hahaha!

    If you are waiting for him and ask him where is he; he’ll claim he’s only ten minutes >away when he really is going for a bath the next minute. OMFG, why does anyone >have to lie for such things??

    Hahaha! Words fail me.

    Phone is password protected. And he may not even be dating or have porn on his >phone!

    But why would you want to check someone’s phone?

    Also, I feel that you haven’t learned much from your analysis. I think you still do this:

    Though you might catch yourself laughing, it is actually your fake, tired laugh. >Sadly, your tired laugh is only reinforcing more senseless flirting.

    Like

Tell me what you think:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s