“I feel monotony and death to be almost the same”
Yawn. I’ll be 19 this Sunday.
Guess what? Life has turned out to be disappointingly normal.
Aaaaaargh! The pain of being normal: neither succeeding greatly nor failing devastatingly. Just being, like some silly, invisible, unimportant amoeba.
I’ve already warned everybody that I don’t want to celebrate the beginning of the normalcy of another year. In my last two birthdays, I’ve been all cheery in the month of July and ended up with a brain-numbingly normal year.
So this time I will not even raise my expectations for a refreshing change.
More monotonous, predictable days of life: bring it on!
Later I thought what could I change? What should I change? There are many ideal answers to give myself. But then I am already the pre-perfect version of what I want to be. The discrepancy between my ideal self and my present self-concept are all external factors that will come and fill the gaps overtime. In my head, I’m sorted. I believe that.
Best thing about this July- the Harry Potter Film. It all ends here. Man, that hurts. Childhood is officially over. Quick story to tell you here: When I read my first Rowling book, I had made a pact with your non-existent god that he let me live at least until all of Harry Potter movies release.
So when there were blasts this week in Bombay, you know who didn’t die: ME!
Yeah, I know. Morbid joke. But tell you what, it’s a free country. And it’s also unsafe.
Anyway, I made a poetic birthday wish-list for the year (and with the low rate of wishes granted per year by the Wish-approval department of the universe, it just might be the same for all birthdays).
Let there be a storm in my heart.
Gimme some adrenaline rush.
Force me to think harder,
To save me from the stagnant rut.
Let passion control me, and the truth
When faced with failure,
Lead me to the reason to start over new.
My dreams must win against my fears
Oh! and finally,
That standard wish of mine:
Make me filthy rich and rib-cracking witty!
Yeah thanks, this much would be just fine.
(Gasping to blow out the candles)
“Age merely shows what children we remain.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
P.S: If I win the dell laptop then that’ll be the highlight of the month. The competition results will be out tomorrow. Fingers crossed.